That Guilty feeling
Ok so posting today is not my usual day its usually at the weekend but I just remembered something and when I post there is always that one think that goes through my mind and its guilt, from the moment I wake up in the morning and hear Kai either say is it football today or is in school or are we on holiday today as the in recent days we have had a holiday to Spain, Kai has had football school and half term to school again and then holiday.
Kids with Autism like ruitens but over the recent weeks its all been broke up for Kai so I’m sure he does not know if his coming or going, so when I wake up in the morning and Kai says is it school today and I say yes I can see his little face sigh.
“waking up in the morning Kai asks is it a school day”
I am sure he thinks it should be swimming pool day or something. Even though Kai seems to like school and does not mind going he would much rather be in the pool or riding the pony in Spain.
In this way is defiantly like most kids as I don’t really know anyone who liked school.
It is funny I think of myself as a good dad but not a pushy dad I also guess I am a strict dad also as I don’t let my kids pay games every day or watch TV daily this again brings in the guilt, however I know a guy who goes even more far and makes his children learn other languages recite poems do every sport under the sun i.e. football, rugby, karate, swimming, math school I wanna know when the kids get the time.
I take Kai to football on Saturday and come home go shopping and the day is gone. Kai and Ted are allowed to play games at the weekend or if we go to a restaurant other than that they must play with toys go outside read or do what they want. I don’t really false them to study too hard.
Nevertheless, this brings in the guilt to should I be more like my super friend and send the kids on every course every sport and force them to recite poems or have a life. I stick to having a life but not sure where they will go in future maybe super friends kids will be CEOs and mine normal working jobs. well what will be will be I guess.
Nevertheless, I have unconditional love for both Kai and Ted and I hope I bring this across in this blog, they are the love of my life along with my wife, but they are my little amazing men. I am so glad that I brought them into the world. Well ok not me Hiroko did but I had a hand, I did not carry them but I did go to the hospital early morning to see Kai born and also Ted lol. I do enjoy looking at Kai and seeing his beautiful smile and ted drawing his pictures, so there is defiantly no guilt there.
I also am so happy and have so much pride in the genes I have passed to Kai as a father it really makes me very happy to have a special boy and clever in his own way. Ted also makes me happy when I see him draw when he won first prize in the whole of Singapore for his artwork for his age. I am crazy happy. I’m not a super dad like my super friend or rich enough to send my sons to every class or sport or to make them super children who can recite plays and sing songs and act. I do my best work hard . I try to do the best for my children to the best that I can do.
my only acting claim to fame was when I played the lawyer who helped JK Rowling get her book deal in Japan on a show in Japan. that was a funny day and another story. lol