Stress as a parent of a child with Autism

With all the news around mental health at the moment. I was thinking about people and in question one man the other day. I was watching Take Me Out with my wife and there was a guy on there young and a normal looking person. He got a girl but seemed to lose his job because of filming the show that tipped him over the edge and he took his own life.

I was wondering what went on in his life to take his own life. I feel every day the stress of looking after my son with Autism the Stress of work and as we get older the people dying around us. I wonder how one copes with all this and how we go on.

I cope by joking, I cope by not taking everything seriously. I some times wonder why doctors feel the need to medicate, I sometimes wonder why we bottle up our emotions. Why can’t we talk esp as men we feel we should be strong and keep our feelings inside. Until its too late then we do something. We don’t realise the hurt we are leaving behind and the pain that our loved ones will go through when god for bid we take our own lives.

Is it the responsibility for the government to do more medicate more provide more shrinks, I do feel they should do a bit more for mens health there seems to be so much now for women health and mental awareness but there is little for me. I know if you read this you will say im sexist for writing this but we only need to look at the facts more men die for suicide than women esp  see the report below

https://www.samaritans.org/sites/default/files/kcfinder/files/Suicide_statistics_report_2017_Final.pdf

Yet we never have anything to help men, maybe as I said above maybe men don’t want help maybe they think they are not manly if they don’t ask for help.

I know I get a bit scared some times looking after my son and the pressures it takes to look after him well. I try my best and I guess one reason why I set up this blog. But I do feel its very hard for people to understand what we go through. I think women do find it easier to talk and you will see more posts by women. Women also talk to each other when they go out. Men, talk about the football the rugby, joke around but never talk about personal stuff. Never do we talk about our wives or our kids personal aspects. When someone asks you what your doing at the weekend it usually is the usual. Football, Rugby with the kids followed by some rest.

Crying, I know its the 21st century and men should cry but how many of us have had a good cry. I know I have not cried in a long time.  Again I am not sure if its just a man thing and the way we are built I get angry I get sad I get happy but I never cry.

My wife can cry at the littlest thing, and then she is happy again. I guess men need to show they are the rock in the household.

I read the other day also a man committed suicide as he found it hard to come to terms and deal with the stress of his autist and lsd child. This again makes me sad as I know its hard to deal with but I really am unsure I can take my life. Again its the ones you leave behind that suffer. The stress of me thinking about this would never allow me to take my life.

I am here if you read this and your stressed for any reason please talk. I know this post is not the usual happy go lucky post and I don’t think it is just for the gov and the NHS to deal with this, its for us all, I think if we were just a little bit kinder to everyone and have a little bit more respect for people. This would would be a better place. If we treated everyone equal no matter what sex they are and what difficulties they have then again this world would be far better.

I think less people would stop taking their lives. We need to treat men and women equally in every aspect, we need to find the route cause for these tragedies and do what we can to stop it.

 

Terry

 

 

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