When you could just do with some help -19-09-2017

Well Kai and Ted are doing a great job at turning me into a wreck,  we have just had the holiday were we were almost always together to going back to clubs and they just keep on, fight talk about random stuff won’t take the answer and just keep on. I love them to death but I am sure you know what I mean when you just feel like a break. 🙂  I really feel like a shadow of my self,  I am sure there are many books and poems on how I feel write now just none come to mind.

going along with all this talking comes a daily barrage of screaming, jumping on me and they laying, I say I need a break then it comes kai laying on me and smacking my belly, yep I know I’m fat Kai I really need to start running again but I don’t need to be reminded. It seems to me that kai mission statement in live is to do what he wants even if he knows its wrong and teds is to cause as much noice and damage as he can do.

I take Kai and Ted to the park after school and some old ladies are sitting there feeding the ducks and enjoying a peaceful afternoon. Kai and Ted can’t walk normally and enjoy the day no, I am sure they thought, lets us be chaotic and cause mayhem.  I am sure most kids are tired and just want to eat dinner or watch tv or play on swings in the park after school. Not Kai and Ted they want to cause trouble, running up to the ducks and pidgens, so they fly low over these ladies almost hitting them. Kai no not the birds leave them alone I say. Kai they like it.  

“I do love my boys and I want to make this clear”

but this does make me want to hide.

The little buggers really are driving me mad today though, I am beginning to think it will be nice when I start my new job and I don’t need to work from home anymore lol.

Poor Hiroko having this all week to deal with going forward. lol

As you can imagine my my patience has been drained. I do wonder some times what did I do in live to have this but then I think well its Kai and Ted and I am sure I did the same to my mum and dad and I am sure they thought the same.

Did you ever think like this did your kids try your patience?

How do you cope with it?

I really do feel they have seen my life insurance and think how can we drive him to the grave lol we could be very rich maybe they conspire with my wife to get rid of me early lol.

I gather them up and try and get away from the old ladies so they don’t cause anymore issues, Kai and Ted lets go to the swings. No Daddy I want to throw stones in the pond, I want to make them jump.

Can we not do that the other side of the pond, no daddy this side is better.

Pulling out my hair

I swear I am going bald as I am really pulling my hair out. How many times will I have to say sorry to these old ladies.

I always feel I prepare myself mentally and emotionally every week and then comes my work from home days, then it all goes out the window.

We always have to do something after work I usually start work early on my work from home days so I can finish early and take Kai and Ted to places after school. I don’t rely on the weather to bless us with sunny days in the park as this is the UK, I swear the only country in the world that global warming has decided to miss off.

Nevertheless, today was nice so park, I am beginning to think why did I do this, I should of chose, KidsRock.

I am bringing to think why did I move home, In HK and SG we had a maid so made it easier, I am really wondering and thinking to raise the white flag and get some help. I think I really need that helping hand again. Well I really want to buy a house so I guess not we need the money for that.

Emotion

you got me feeling emotions as Mariah Carey ones sang.

🙁 the emotion batteries though are really drained and need a recharge what can I do, Hiroko also is drained maybe time for a holiday to Japan haha and Hiroko mum and dad can help too. mmm again money so I guess thats out of the window.

Maybe another trip to my sisters in Oct is on the cards lol.

My mum and dad are not really have the health to help out and live so far away anyway so no help there.

Well time to suck it up and get on with it. nice to have this blog to rant though lol.

I guess the one thing that really would help us would be DLA as we would be able to get more support. So while I write this I need to also contemplate taking on the 80 page DLA form this will also take an enormous about of time and energy to fill out. I have been turned down 2 times for this already due to my time living back in the UK. I really hope we get it this time as this will help a lot. The next issue is schools ECHP and Kai’s support its a never-ending Story. I am beginning to wish I was a child again watching the film rather than going though this.

Wish us luck that we get this, as hopefully getting the next stage of support will be a relief and one thing that keeps us going.

 

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